10th
Head reeling
My experiences over the last couple months have been about moving and transitioning. Literally moving, and mentally transitioning. Or maybe it’s just the opposite: literally transitioning to different cities and actively moving my thoughts around like a tired old wet rag scraping crumbs off a table.
I can’t keep up with my thoughts too well. I adore the notion of new things on the horizon, but woah, I feel attacked by anxiety right now and I’m not sure where it’s all coming from…It could be all the changes making way in my life but it could be something else entirely. I move to Berlin in a matter of days and something in me feels unsettled. I’m not sure what.
Just the pre-commitment to living somewhere jitters? Maybe. It’s kind of like walking up to a place you’re not familiar with. Whether it be a cafe, bar, night club or friend’s house; just feeling like a piece of toilet paper is stuck to the bottom of your shoe before you get in. Once you are in, everything’s ok. It’s just getting there sometimes. I think…
On an up note, I am having a blast with my older sister here in Greensboro. We have a soul connection and understanding that I don’t think anything or anyone in the world can rival. I feel sorry for only children. They get no love.
I really need to sleep. Hope this can happen. Insomnia sucks.
